Twelve Friends & Freaks
by lucklesslady
Summary: At ten sweeps, the beta trolls are scattered and out-of-touch, but their old bonds are too strong to let it stay that way. Meanwhile, HIC reflects on her life and loneliness.
1. Phoning It In

Eridan's hand trembled over the send key. He had to press it, so he could end seven sweeps of silently suffering over Feferi. Now at ten sweeps old, Eridan could be punished for vacillating quadrants like this.

He dramatically crushed the send button.

"New message from caligulasAquarium!"

Feferi's phone vibrated in her pocket. Even though she was supposed to be helping Her Imperious Condescension listen to complaints, she slyly slid the phone out to read the message.

"fef wwe can't be moirails anymore. i cant really explain wwhy. wwe just cant."

Feferi barely stopped herself from shouting in disbelief and instead choked on a gasp. Before she could think of a reply, she received another message "okay i did it."

"—ED?!" she typed furiously. One of the guards gave her a side glance but she couldn't put her phone down.

"sorry wwrong wwindoww," was the reply, followed by "caligulasAquarium has blocked you."

Feferi was even more stunned and confused. What motivated Eridan to do this? Why now? Who had that other message been intended for? Had he cheated on her? Was this just some dramatic pull for attention?

The worst part was that Eridan was off on a military expedition for a quarter of a sweep yet, so she wouldn't be able to ask him any of those questions. She wanted to scream in frustration; no doubt Eridan had planned it that way.

She glanced at Sollux who was sitting at her feet. Though their matespriteship was long over, he was still her psiioniic servant. Sollux could easily break into Eridan's account and see all of the messages sent, but Sollux was adamant about having nothing to do with his ex-kismesis. Technically, Feferi could order Sollux to hack Eridan's account, but she didn't like to treat Sollux that way. He was only her servant to keep him from being grafted onto a ship. She needed another way.

")(ey Nepeta, I R-E—ELLY need a favor! 38(" she tapped out urgently. The same guard was still glaring at Feferi. She shot him a dirty look and went back to her message.

":33 what's wrong?!"

"I'm a M-ESS right now! —-Eridan just broke up with me!"

"XOO what!? *ac offurs you a hug*"

"AND H-E BLOCK—ED M-E!"

"XOO that's horrible!"

"S)(-ELL me about it. T)(AT'S w)(y I need a favor."

":33 *ac listens patiently*"

"I need you to convince Sollux to )(ack Eridan's Trollian and figure out w)(y t)(e S)(-ELL H—E DID T)(IS!"

":? but why have ME ask him?"

Feferi bit her lip and contemplated spilling Sollux's secret, "You're just super PURR-suasive 38)"

":33 if you say so!"

"And PL-EAS-E don't mention W)(Y you want -Eridan's log."

":33 you got it!"

Nepeta excused herself to go back to the hunt. Feferi said her good-byes and put her phone back in her pocket. She was sure Nepeta could come through for her. In fact just now Sollux groped his phone in his pocket, though he didn't check the message.

Meanwhile, in the barracks on another planet, Eridan was struggling to keep it together. Kanaya was trying to calm him down, but for every consoling thing she said, she had about twenty other things that only made him more upset.

"maybe i should message her…"

"If You Message Her I Guarantee You'll Rescind Your Break-Up And Pour Your Heart Out, And That Is Exactly What You Were Afraid Of Doing, Remember?"

"i fuckin hate doin the right thing."

"This Is For Your Benefit Too. You Don't Want To End Up Like A Certain Famous Ampora, Do You?"

Eridan groaned. Why did Kanaya always have to be so right? It was fucking obnoxious.

He turned off his phone without bothering to say good-bye to Kanaya and rolled over. Tonight, he would let himself quietly cry into his pillow. Tomorrow he would destroy anyone or anything in his path.


	2. All Over Again

Nepeta was back to hunting down her matesprite. Karkat was getting better and better at this, but Nepeta had immense talent for tracking.

Karkat stood at the mouth of the cave, looking outward to the valley. It wasn't even fair how silently Nepeta crept up on him. She quickly seized Karkat, who screamed and struggled until she turned him around.

"Karkitty!" Her smile became strained. Yet again, Karkat had rubbed ashes in his eyes to hide the color of his irises. He was half-blind and couldn't make direct eye contact.

"Nepeta…" He collapsed into her arms in trepid relief. It pained Nepeta how weary he was. He was shaking either from illness, total paranoia, fear... probably all three. She held him for a bittersweet moment.

"Please come live with me…" Nepeta begged once more.

Karkat pulled away gently, "You don't understand-"

"Make me understand."

"If I tell _anyone_, I'm going to get culled!"

"I don't know what you're so afuraid of! When Equius was going to be culled for making Aradia her robo-body, Terezi and Fefuri got him acquitted, remember? Gamzee is your meowrail, and your still furiends with Eridan. The law can't touch you!" Only now did Nepeta realize she was screaming.

Karkat shouted back, "You don't fucking get it-"

"_Make_ _me get it, Karkat_!" Nepeta shrieked back at him; Nepeta lowered her voice to a whisper, "Karkat... I'm worried…"

He took a step closer to her, as if he would actually whisper his secret in her ear, "But I care too much to tell you…"

She turned away sat at the mouth of the cave with some faint hope Karkat would sit with her. Karkat wandered off into the labyrinth of caves to get lost again. Nepeta was at least glad the argument was over.

Unfortunately, this seemed to be the only kind of meetings they had anymore. They argued about Karkat's vagabond life too much to pail in the dark, or even think about civil conversation. Anymore, Nepeta felt more like an kismesis than a matesprite or whatever she was supposed to be.

Nepeta retrieved her phone from her pouch. It had been a gift from Feferi. She supposed she should put it to good use.

She typed out ":33 hello sollux", not feeling whimsical enough for any potential cat puns.

Sollux was sitting on the carpeted floor at Feferi's feet when felt his phone vibrate. He swore if it was Eridan's newest jealous kismesis again he would scream. He glanced at his phone: "New message from arsenicCatnip!"

Just then, The Empress stood, "Enough of this carp. The court is disfished."

Sollux wasn't dismissed, but he used his low blood status as an excuse to walk behind the fuchsia bloods, "out of earshot", with his head down, fixed on his phone.

"hii!"

":33 glad to s33 you're in a good mood!"

"you're not?"

":(( me and karkat had ANOTHER fight"

This was the moment Sollux had been waiting for. Karkat had been a giant douche again and now, finally, Nepeta was running to him. He had to say something suave to win her over.

"wow what a douche."

":33 don't say that! he means well!"

"oh 2orry. ii diidnt mean iit liike that."

Feferi glanced back at Sollux and said, "You don't have to stay."

Sollux thanked her and walked off in the other direction to his respiteblock.

They made sure he was out of earshot before continuing their conversation.

The Empress, "I know when somefin is bothering you."

"So Eridan broke up with me and won't tell me why, so Nepeta's going to convince Sollux to steal Eridan's pesterlogs so I figure out what the _heck _is goin on!"

Condy bent down to pat Feferi on the head (wow, she felt old), "Girl I ain't gonna do anyfin. You obvs got this ship on lock."

But Condy was still concerned. The Empress knew Eridan idolized Dualscar, and she was seeing way too many similarities between them. She could only hope Feferi wouldn't make the same mistakes she had thousands of sweeps ago.


	3. Sleepless Days

":33 this is a purrtty big beast so my repurrlies are gonna be slow" Nepeta typed out quickly. Pounce was dragging in her kill, a beautiful creature prized for its beautiful fur. Nepeta couldn't let it go to waste.

"maybe we 2hould cam chat iinstead" Sollux replied. Nepeta loved the idea, and sent a cam request before Sollux even had time to change his shirt.

"Can you hear me alright?"

"Purrfectly!" Sollux called back as he put his headset on. He grinned but then quickly covered his mouth to hide his teeth.

"Don't worry! I love it when ofurs people use cat puns!" After flashing a smile of reassurance at him, she turned around to address the kill.

Nepeta stripped off her outerwear; the leather underneath wouldn't need to be scrubbed if blood or guts got on it. Her leather armor covered all of her except her legs, which could not sacrifice an ounce of dexterity.

Sollux had mixed feelings about the cam chat. On one hand, he could see her beautiful body, but on the other now she could see his own lumpy existence. His insecurity paralyzed the conversation for a long moment.

"Fefuri's wriggling day purrty is coming up soon. She told me she invited the 'original twelve'," Nepeta said after she made the first slice into the beast.

"Well I know Vris and Tav aren't coming," Sollux said with a shrug, "and Kanaya can't go because of her brood mother duties, or whatever."

"Karkitten refurses to go pawblic, so I guess hiss not coming," Nepeta's looked up at the computer, "Equius asked Aradia but she's still hiding from efuryone else."

Sollux refused to dwell on that again, "Terezi has a court date earlier that night, so she'll be late at best," Sollux fumbled over the last word like the smooth operator he was.

"That'll be Gamzee too…" Nepeta muttered, "Plus, you won't talk to Eridan, and Eridan isn't talking to Feferi-"

"He isn't?"

Nepeta suddenly realized Sollux didn't know about the break-up, "You know Eridan… Speaking of Ampurra could you pawsibbly hack hiss Trollian for me?"

Sollux retorted, "I am not getting involved with Chum Brains again."

"Please?" Nepeta asked, crawling back to the computer.

"No!" Sollux said with force, but he could already feel his will fading.

She asked again, "It's super important!"

"No!"

Nepeta got on her knees and pleaded before her computer, "Please, please, please!? For me?"

Sollux closed his eyes and prepared for regret, "Okay…" Sollux couldn't resist a half-dressed Nepeta. He rolled himself closer to the computer so his bulge would be hidden under the desk.

"I need the logs from tonight and the last five nights too," Nepeta added.

"It won't be a purroblem," Sollux blushed at the pun, "but it'll take me a few days."

"Oh thank you so much Sollux! I purromise I will make it up to you!"

The rest of the conversation was vapid gossip, but gossip with Nepeta made it feel like the most profound of things. As sleep crept up on him, he was getting lost in thoughts of curling up in her strong arms and listening to her purr while they slept together.

"It's late, Sollicks," Nepeta said lazily. She was resting her head on her hands, practically falling asleep in front of the computer.

"I know," he laughed nervously, "It's practically sunset already."

"It is sunrise here," she yawned and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry I kept you up so late…"

"It was worth it."

Sollux's was too tired to show his elated emotion, "Really?"

She opened one eye, "Mmmhmm, but I really need to go to sleep. Good day…"

"Sweet dreams…" he replied in the faintest of voiced. He saw Nepeta reach up and close her computer.

Sollux leaned back in his chair and smiled serenely. He wanted to keep the memory as pure as possible. He only needed to close his eyes for a second…

Sollux woke up, but didn't want to open his eyes. He knew he was late for something, and he knew it was something he didn't really want to to do. He finally peeked at the computer screen.

"D — I hope you have not forgotten about our appointment"

Fuck.


	4. All the Fixings

**All the Fixings**

The fact that Equius's job was to repair bucket drones was proof that Her Imperious Condescension had a cruel sense of humor. He stood in front of rows and rows of bucket-wielding drones, trying to maintain some air of dignity.

"Sorry, I lost track of time," Sollux said as he slowed to a trot.

"I have been waiting two point five degrees," Equius quipped. There were three hundred sixty degrees between sundowns, so Sollux didn't feel too bad.

"I said I'm sorry!" Sollux protested as he caught his breath. Man, he was _really_ out of shape, "I was up late..."

"Excellent use of your time," Equius retorted gruffly.

Sollux curtly asked, "How's Gamzee?"

Equius was sharp, "Do you have the files?"

"Yeah..." Sollux dug down in his jean pocket to retrieve the storage device, "I'm surprised Aradia answered on her old Trollian handle..." Sollux said as he handed the device to Equius.

Equius walked right past Sollux. Captor's lack of punctuality didn't allow for another second to be wasted on niceties. Besides, that conversation always ended with Sollux and Equius trying to compete over who ruined Aradia's life more.

Despite the walk being short (at least for Equius), he had plenty time to go over his usual argument: he made her into an abomination, the illegal chip in her heart, the illegal chip in her heart that got her arrested, and she was only exonerated after he testified that she was so low blooded to know what was happening. Now she worked in a tavern as a barmaid because that was the only place that would hire her.

The pub was just beyond the woods, for any passerby traveling to The Royal City, but at that point many traveler's felt it prudent to press on to the city instead of going to the isolated and rundown tavern; after all The Royal City was in their sight at that point.

Equius was the only person in the world who would knock on a bar's door, possibly because he felt like it would better hide Aradia here. He let himself in. He immediately felt two glowing eyes staring at him.

"Shall we go to your respiteblock?" It was more for his benefit than hers. The restaurant area was filled with lowlifes that made Equius nervous. Upstairs in her lock he could pretend they weren't judging him.

"Sure," Aradia turned around and went upstairs to her block.

It was a very nice block, with a window facing the sea. Equius imagined when no one was watching, Aradia liked to slip out and explore the cliffs and caves below. Thinking about her happy made his work go quickly.

"I am finished," Equius announced. Equius didn't expect a response and excused himself when he was sure it wasn't coming. He shut the door behind him, walked down the stairs, and out of the tavern altogether. Back to The Royal Duties for his royal duties.

Equius walked along the cliff like a tightrope walker, following the precipice back to The Royal City, which sat at the end of the long peninsula.\

"Hey!"

Equius certainly heard it and he was certainly going to ignore it.

"Equius! Equius!"

With regret, he turned around and saw Vriska helping Tavros up the cliff.

"He's practically a cripple again. Fix him," Vriska said as if Equius owed her one.

"Nice to see you too," Equius scoffed. He knelt down to pull Tavros up and begin working on him, "You have such a considerate matesprite, Tavros."

Tavros laughed nervously, "We're not dating. I mean, we're not even interested in each other..."

"Why would _you_ be?" Equius scoffed.

Vriska struck back quickly, "Isn't it funny how when Gamzee's sober, he hates you, and you're red for him, but when he's high, he loves you and you despise him! Good thing you can reprogram those drones not to come after you two or you would be-"

"He is fixed, for the most part" Equius said, "Now get out of here before someone sees us."

Tavros looked like he wanted to say something, but Vriska was already pulling him down the cliff. Equius scowled and continued walking back to the city. Terezi got Kanaya; Nepeta got Karkat; and he got Vriska _and_ Tavros. He supposed it could be worse though: he could have Eridan.


End file.
